This past month has passed by so quickly, and at the same time, I feel like Richard has been in our home for much longer than just one month. We have been getting lots of questions from friends, family, and strangers - with most of the being kind. I'd love to let you know how our month has been going, so I'll start from the beginning.
Custody Trip - Day 7 - Good-bye Korea, Hello US
Our departure from Korea was so bittersweet. On one hand, we were ready for our entire family to be together as a family of 5, yet we were brokenhearted for our son because he was losing everything he has ever known. My mind cannot fully comprehend what he was thinking during this time, so we did what we could to show him that we, his parents, were there for him, loving him every step of the way. Our day began with catching a shuttle from the base we were staying at to the airport. The only shuttle we could catch (and not be late for our flight) was 6 hours before our flight departed. It was either take this (free) shuttle, battle the subway with ourselves and all of our luggage, or take a taxi (taxis are cheap in Korea, but the airport is rather far away from central Seoul, so we didn't even want to go this route). After an hour ride to the airport, we went to go check into our flight. Inchon is such a big airport, and their counters change all of the time. We went to check into the Delta counter, and we were told it wasn't set up yet. In its' place was a different airline checking in their passengers. It was set to open 3 hours before our flight, so we 'lolly-gagged' around the airport for a few hours. This time definitely seemed to drag on, but Richard (as always) did amazing. He was so patient throughout this process. Once the counter finally opened, we checked in and proceeded through security. Last time we were leaving Korea, we stumbled across this amazing burger place in the international terminal, and we were eager to get back there to get another one. Richard really likes hamburgers (and hot dogs and pizza and well, any other type of typical American food as well as most Korean dishes as well), so he was thrilled to chow down a delicious burger.
After eating, we went down to where we were boarding and chatted about our upcoming plane trip with him. We cannot fully know how well he understood us or how well our broken Korean may have sounded, but he seemed excited to get on the plane. His foster family had taken him to the airport the day before custody and explained the entire process, so that was a huge help. Once on board, he gladly watched a few movies, ate dinner, and then went to sleep. We arrived in Seattle without a single tear! Now this was the tricky part - getting through immigration in order to make our next flight. We only had about 1.5 hours layover, which is quite tight when going through immigration. Because Richard is new to the US, we had to go to the non-US citizen line, which was quite a slow line. After going through the line, we then were directed to go sit and wait for our immigration paperwork to be evaluated. After what seemed like forever, we were finally released, and it was the time scheduled for our next plane to board, but we still had to get our luggage, recheck it, go through security again, and find our gate. We were running, and when we made it to our gate, they hadn't even started to board yet! Phew! The flight was uneventful, and we arrived in LAX soon after.
While eating dinner, things went south! Richard was tired, in a new country, and not a happy boy. He just cried and cried, and nothing could calm him. Fortunately our next plane was departing soon, so we jumped aboard and he quickly fell asleep. Chris and I were terrified of how his mood would be when he woke up, and I prayed that he would wake up our happy little boy again. This was the first time we had seen him truly sad. We were thankful Richard was able to sleep the entire plan ride to New Orleans and woke up happy as we were getting off of the plane. Then, the Lord answered our prayers. After a quick bathroom break, we were able to see his happy, playful personality again. After gathering our luggage and getting our van, we drove the hour home (it was midnight, so we did not want anyone to bother coming greet us at the airport). He handled the car ride home very well, which was a surprise because they do not use car seats in Korea but he took to it very well.
Once home, my mom, grandmother, Elie, and Levi were quickly awakened and excited to play with Richard. It was so nice to see, but it was 2 in the morning!!! After an hour or so, we were able to get settled in and head to bed.
The First Few Days
I'm not going to lie - the first few days were hard at times. He refused food for a day and a half (even when being offered his favorites), but we just made sure to always be there for him. He was quiet and reserved, not speaking much or wanting to do much of anything. My mom and grandmother left not long after we woke up, and it was very kind of them to be respectful of our time bonding with Richard. On Friday, we stayed around the house, played, and tried to engage him as much as we could while respecting that he was grieving everything he lost. On Saturday afternoon, we went to a corn maze with friends from our Sunday School class, and it really helped everyone out! Fortunately we had prepared our friends on our plans for bonding with Richard, and they were respectful to always direct him to us for anything he needed. He seemed to have a lot of fun, and when we came home, he finally ate!
Over the next week, he opened up and seemed to be back to the same cheerful boy he was during our time in Korea. When Chris went back to work a week and a half later, he transitioned really well to the new schedule.
He really enjoys being read to and learning new things. While Elie is doing school work, he loves to join us at the table and do his 'school' too. He has learned to count from 1-10 (and up to 20 mixing some of the teens), most colors, a few letters, lots of songs, and a large variety of animal sounds. He still speaks a lot of Korean, but English has now become mixed in quite a bit. Because he hears Elie and Levi say it so much, he now calls us Mommy and Daddy as opposed to the Korean words 'omma' and 'appa'. He is interested in lots of 'typical boy things - trains, cars, dinosaurs, Legos, transformers, and construction equipment.
First the first few weeks, Richard was all about his big sister, Elie, and he followed her everywhere. He was very uninterested in Levi, and he would often leave a toy, or even the room, if Levi came within a few feet of him. We tried a handful of tricks to get them engaging with one another but didn't push it much. Then one day the kids started pretending to be cats! Well, that did the trick. If they were pretending to be cats together, he would actually be near Levi. Elie had a unique opportunity to go to California for a week with grandparents, so with her away, Richard and Levi grew closer and closer. Don't get me wrong, they are 2 and 3 - so there is often jealousy and toy snatching, but their relationship seems to be growing stronger and stronger every day.
We are so happy to finally have Richard in our home! The Lord had perfect timing in this entire process, and although it took much longer than we originally anticipated, we are to thankful for everything we have learned along the way. Thank you to everyone who helped us get this far. Your prayers, financial support, and sweet words of encouragement were such a blessing to our family.
11/22/2015
10/21/2015
Custody Trip - day 6
Today was more challenging than the past two were, but it was also very rewarding. He has really started to imitate our words really well and will even say since English words very clearly (okay, no, go, ice cream).
For our last full day on Seoul, we went to the Seoul zoo in children's grand park. It's a good thing he does great in the subway because it was quite a long ride to our destination. During our walk to the zoo, Richard had his first 'tantrum'. He really wanted something he saw, and it wasn't an option. He was whiny and asking over and over and over, but we moved on. After a while, he was okay, but it was never an option to give into his tantrum once we said no. I know everyone has different parenting styles, and I know that sometimes it's just easier to give in (even though no one wants to admit it). But we are working on our relationship with him, and parenting an adopted child requires more attention to attachment building since he didn't experience life with us from the start. We have to be consistent in our words and actions. Failure to be consistent with him shows him that what we say does not always hold true, and we cannot be trusted.
We found the zoo to be a little overwhelming to him. He was not his happy, excited self that we have gotten used to the past two days. He did have fun, don't get me wrong, but he was also having some difficulties.
We saw a few animals.
We played around at a park.
Then devoured our rice and kimchi lunch. After lunch, we made our way slowly out of the park.
Once we were back at the hotel, he was back to his happy self. The racquetball court was there perfect place to get out some energy.
Tomorrow begins our journey home. I'm so excited to see Elie and Levi, but my heart aches as we say goodbye to the only place Richard has ever known. Please pray for a smooth journey as we travel and as he gets settled into his forever home!
For our last full day on Seoul, we went to the Seoul zoo in children's grand park. It's a good thing he does great in the subway because it was quite a long ride to our destination. During our walk to the zoo, Richard had his first 'tantrum'. He really wanted something he saw, and it wasn't an option. He was whiny and asking over and over and over, but we moved on. After a while, he was okay, but it was never an option to give into his tantrum once we said no. I know everyone has different parenting styles, and I know that sometimes it's just easier to give in (even though no one wants to admit it). But we are working on our relationship with him, and parenting an adopted child requires more attention to attachment building since he didn't experience life with us from the start. We have to be consistent in our words and actions. Failure to be consistent with him shows him that what we say does not always hold true, and we cannot be trusted.
We found the zoo to be a little overwhelming to him. He was not his happy, excited self that we have gotten used to the past two days. He did have fun, don't get me wrong, but he was also having some difficulties.
We saw a few animals.
We played around at a park.
Then devoured our rice and kimchi lunch. After lunch, we made our way slowly out of the park.
Once we were back at the hotel, he was back to his happy self. The racquetball court was there perfect place to get out some energy.
Tomorrow begins our journey home. I'm so excited to see Elie and Levi, but my heart aches as we say goodbye to the only place Richard has ever known. Please pray for a smooth journey as we travel and as he gets settled into his forever home!
10/20/2015
Custody Trip - day 5
Our morning began with Chris and I laying around waiting for Richard to wake up. We were told he typically wakes around 6am, but this morning he slept until 8! It was nice to get some extra sleep, but we were so ready for him to get up so we could have fun!
After breakfast, we went to the playground before our embassy appointment. Richard was nervous about going up after being scared yesterday, so he asked Chris to join him (calling him appa -dad in Korean- for the first time).
Can I just say Richard has got to be one of the most laid back kids out there? He does great with anything we do. We spent close to 2 hours going through the subway and walking around the streets of Seoul before our visa appointment, and he was always happy. Our appointment went well, and we were done in about 1.5 hours. It was nice to chat with other families there while waiting. After our appointment, we took the subway to Elie's favorite restaurant in Seoul - a noodle place we stumbled upon last time when we were shopping. He definitely approved of it!
Tonight was our first time to hear him cry. His foster mother described (in great detail) how she washes his hair, but he was having none of it. A little snuggle later, nthough, and he acted like nothing ever happened. We played a few attachment games before bed. He loves brushing his teeth, so we build that into a game for him.
After breakfast, we went to the playground before our embassy appointment. Richard was nervous about going up after being scared yesterday, so he asked Chris to join him (calling him appa -dad in Korean- for the first time).
Can I just say Richard has got to be one of the most laid back kids out there? He does great with anything we do. We spent close to 2 hours going through the subway and walking around the streets of Seoul before our visa appointment, and he was always happy. Our appointment went well, and we were done in about 1.5 hours. It was nice to chat with other families there while waiting. After our appointment, we took the subway to Elie's favorite restaurant in Seoul - a noodle place we stumbled upon last time when we were shopping. He definitely approved of it!
Tonight was our first time to hear him cry. His foster mother described (in great detail) how she washes his hair, but he was having none of it. A little snuggle later, nthough, and he acted like nothing ever happened. We played a few attachment games before bed. He loves brushing his teeth, so we build that into a game for him.
This sticker book was a hit, and he would repeat several words in English when I would say them (purple, pink, car, bug, circle). Bedtime was super easy again tonight, and we pray that continues once he is home.
Tomorrow will be our last full day on Seoul. We have fun things planned, and hopefully the day will be filled with love and laughter as it was today!
10/19/2015
Custody trip - day 4 - Forever Family Day
Today was the day we dreamed of almost 4 years ago when we began our adoption journey. Never on my wildest dreams did I imagine it would have gone as well as it did today. Thank you to each and every one of you who prayed over this day for us. We definitely felt the Lord's comforting presence throughout our day. We know that before we ever dreamed of Richard entering our family, God had this plan for his life, and we are so thankful to be able to be a part of his life.
We began our day at our agency's office where we met with his foster family and had the opportunity to gather last minute information to help his transition easier. We fully expected an emotional roller coaster today (we even had a barf bag ready just in case), but he handled everything so well. After saying our goodbyes, we headed back to our hotel.On the subway ride back, he was very quiet. I could only imagine what was going on in his little head. He was thrilled when we broke out a new toy (transformer), and it became his toy of choice the rest of the day.
Once back at our hotel, he had a quick snack and that's when the fun began. He started to show us his beautiful smile and let us see that amazing personality of his.
Daddy and Richard really enjoyed lunch. Apparently he really, I mean really, likes ketchup. He did a great job imitating daddy's walrus chopsticks.
After lunch, we can ventured onto the playground next to our hotel. He had a lot of fun but became scared by an older child. He immediately called me (omma - Korean for mother), made eye contact, and ran to me for comfort. I was thrilled with this type of response for our first day together. Up next we played a few attachment games which he really enjoyed.
We explored the base we are staying at some more, and he spotted the indoor pool. I didn't even know there was a pool so we didn't bring any swim gear for any of us. We quickly ran to the exchange and grabbed him a pair of shorts.
He had a blast running with daddy in the halls.
Splashing from the side of the pool was a hit. He went in a few times, but he wasn't crazy about it. So sticking to the edge was perfect!
After getting out, I wrapped him up in warm towels, and he snuggled with me for a long time. He would look up at me with his beautiful eyes and it brought tears to my eyes. I sang to him, and we just sat there for the longest time, knowing this was a moment I would never forget.
We choose a buffet dinner in our hotel so we could let him chose what he liked the most. Pasta, steak, potatoes, and bread were his favorite.
And dessert was an even bigger hit!
Finally it was funny for bed. His foster mother said he likes to sleep with a toy, so when I told him it was time for bed, he grabbed his toy and climbed in bed. Less than five minutes later he was out. This day was one I will never forget, and I hope we have many more just like it as we enjoy our last few days in Korea.
10/18/2015
Seoul Custody Trip - Days 1-3
After a long flight we arrived in Seoul on Friday night. Since we were kid free, we went with the cheaper route and took the subway to our hotel. Two hours and many miles later, we arrived at our hotel, grabbed a bite to eat, and headed to bed.
We spent the day Saturday visiting a few different markets and were able to revisit an underground floral market near our hotel we use for our first trip. We were able to find a beautiful plant for Richard's foster family that we will be able to add to their gift basket. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and getting ready for Sunday.Sunday was quite busy. It is the day before custody, so we knew we needed to stay busy so the time would go by quickly. We treked off to the southern portion of Seoul to visit 'The Baby Box Church". Chris was in charge of hauling the donations there, and he was awesome. He climbed many steep hills across several miles without complaining.
After quite a bit of searching and help from a few locals, we finally found the church.
We were able to donate around 500 diapers thanks to many family members and friends who joined us as we blessed this amazing ministry.
Next up we went to Lotte World. It's the world's largest indoor amusement park, and boy was it huge. I think that there were 7-8 different floors. We spent a whole there and still we were not able to see everything.
There was a fun outdoor part so Chris and I went on a swan ride.
Finally we hopped on the subway for the ride home. There was a girl sitting nearby with this bag. It reads 'I love Jesus with cross'. I love reading the funny translations around the city, and this one just warmed my heart.
Tomorrow is the big day. We get custody Monday morning at 10 am (Korea time, which will be Sunday night at 8pm central). Please pray that he handles this process well and for our life as a family of 5 to begin. I know God has amazing plans for Richard's life, and we are just blessed to be able to be a part of it.
10/17/2015
Days 6-8
Day 6 was quite nerve racking. We had a fun morning playing with Richard before we had to head to our court hearing. We were the first ones up from our group, but we were waiting on the court hallway for a while waiting for our name to be called. We were not allowed to bring food, electronics, etc into the court room, which meant our beyond active 1 year old would have to just sit there (something he rarely does). We were so thankful that he did very well. The judge asked many questions and overall was very nice. Sixteen minutes later, we were done.... PHEW.
We celebrated by trying out a dog cafe near court. This type of place would never fly in America. Many of the dogs were just plain mean. There were a few that are playful with the all of us, but I spent most of they time worrying of the kids were going to get bit. We ventured to a different market in the evening for some shopping and Korean bbq before retiring for the night.
Day 7 was our last opportunity to see Richard. We were again invited to see Richard this morning. We played with him at an organized play group at the agency. It was so much fun to see him interact with other kids and it allowed us to see how our 3 played together. Richard really seemed to protect Elie and Levi. He would make sure no one cut them in line for the slide and really missed Elie when she stepped out to go to the bathroom. We all had a hard time saying goodbye, but poor Elie really struggled. She was inconsolably crying which just broke my heart. We spent the evening doing some last minute shopping and packing.
Day 8 it was going to say goodbye to Seoul. After waking early to catch our ride to the airport, we made it to the ticket counter before there was a long line. The man at the counter was able to change our seats to bulkhead seats which were amazing because it left us a lot more room for the kids to move about. Elie again got very sad because we were leaving Richard, and j completely understood her pain. The flight was long and there were delays in Detroit, but we eventually landed in Houston and began our journey home. We are so excited to go back to Seoul soon!
We celebrated by trying out a dog cafe near court. This type of place would never fly in America. Many of the dogs were just plain mean. There were a few that are playful with the all of us, but I spent most of they time worrying of the kids were going to get bit. We ventured to a different market in the evening for some shopping and Korean bbq before retiring for the night.
Day 7 was our last opportunity to see Richard. We were again invited to see Richard this morning. We played with him at an organized play group at the agency. It was so much fun to see him interact with other kids and it allowed us to see how our 3 played together. Richard really seemed to protect Elie and Levi. He would make sure no one cut them in line for the slide and really missed Elie when she stepped out to go to the bathroom. We all had a hard time saying goodbye, but poor Elie really struggled. She was inconsolably crying which just broke my heart. We spent the evening doing some last minute shopping and packing.
Day 8 it was going to say goodbye to Seoul. After waking early to catch our ride to the airport, we made it to the ticket counter before there was a long line. The man at the counter was able to change our seats to bulkhead seats which were amazing because it left us a lot more room for the kids to move about. Elie again got very sad because we were leaving Richard, and j completely understood her pain. The flight was long and there were delays in Detroit, but we eventually landed in Houston and began our journey home. We are so excited to go back to Seoul soon!
Days 3-5
Day 3 was amazing. We began our day packing up all donations for our agency and making our way there. We didn't want to be late, but we ended up arriving 1.5 hours early! We did laps around the building and got Levi to sleep just in time to go in for our first meeting with Richard.
Our first meeting with him was beyond anything I could have expected. He was a bit shy at first, but he warmed up to us quickly. We ask played for about 1.5 hours until our scheduled visit was over. Then we were blessed even more! Since he did so well with us there, they gave us the option to let his foster mother go to lunch, and we could stay with him until she returned. Without a doubt, we said YES! So in all, we were able to spend over 3 hours with him. He played really well with Elie and Levi, and he never once cried!
After our meeting was over, we went to eat galbi at a local restaurant. It was fun to try all of the different food options they presented, and the kids were happy that there was meat that they liked.
In the afternoon, we ventured to d-cube city where the kids played at Pororo park. It was a really nice indoor okay area with an inflatable, train, ball pit, playground, and more. After getting their energy out, we found a tgi Fridays for dinner. The kids both passed out from exhaustion before the food arrived. Trust me, if it were appropriate, I would have joined them.
Day 4 was our agency provided tour which allowed us to see some of the sights in Seoul. We toured Deoksgung Palace, joined in a bell ringing, and enjoyed lunch with our guide. We had a relaxing rest of our day running a few errands at Lotte Mart before heading to bed.
Day 5 was what we thought would be our final meeting with Richard. We spent the morning exploring namdaemun market before heading to our agency. He definitely seemed a lot more shy this time, but there were extra people in the room beyond just us, so that was to be expected. We still had a great time, and before he left, they offered for us to see him before court the next day, so we happily agreed :)
Our first meeting with him was beyond anything I could have expected. He was a bit shy at first, but he warmed up to us quickly. We ask played for about 1.5 hours until our scheduled visit was over. Then we were blessed even more! Since he did so well with us there, they gave us the option to let his foster mother go to lunch, and we could stay with him until she returned. Without a doubt, we said YES! So in all, we were able to spend over 3 hours with him. He played really well with Elie and Levi, and he never once cried!
After our meeting was over, we went to eat galbi at a local restaurant. It was fun to try all of the different food options they presented, and the kids were happy that there was meat that they liked.
In the afternoon, we ventured to d-cube city where the kids played at Pororo park. It was a really nice indoor okay area with an inflatable, train, ball pit, playground, and more. After getting their energy out, we found a tgi Fridays for dinner. The kids both passed out from exhaustion before the food arrived. Trust me, if it were appropriate, I would have joined them.
Day 4 was our agency provided tour which allowed us to see some of the sights in Seoul. We toured Deoksgung Palace, joined in a bell ringing, and enjoyed lunch with our guide. We had a relaxing rest of our day running a few errands at Lotte Mart before heading to bed.
Day 5 was what we thought would be our final meeting with Richard. We spent the morning exploring namdaemun market before heading to our agency. He definitely seemed a lot more shy this time, but there were extra people in the room beyond just us, so that was to be expected. We still had a great time, and before he left, they offered for us to see him before court the next day, so we happily agreed :)
9/06/2015
Seoul day 1-2
We arrived in Seoul Saturday afternoon, and after getting our luggage, meeting our van driver from our agency, and renting our wi-fi egg (a portable device that essentially gives you internet access anywhere in the city - which means we can use our phones like normal), we headed to our hotel for the week. After a night of little sleep, we woke up and started our Sunday off exploring the city.
First we went to North Seoul tower. Fortunately, thanks to the tips of others who have been here before, we took a cable car up the mountain. We put our love locks on (pics to follow - they are on a different camera) and went to the top of the tower. I knew Seoul was big, but man, looking out over the whole city really struck me.
We grabbed a quick bite to eat at the bottom of the tower (first meal in Korea was American food - but it was quick and easy so we went with it). We had a delicious burger with chipotle peppers :)
After the North Seoul tower, we came back to our hotel for a short nap - or so we thought. Four hours later, we woke up stunned that we slept until 7pm. We packed up and headed to the cat cafe.
The kids had a blast playing with the cats for over 2 hours. They were closing up at 10, so we essentially played until we were kicked out.
Elie was thrilled to be around so many cats, and Levi had fun pretending to be a cat.
First we went to North Seoul tower. Fortunately, thanks to the tips of others who have been here before, we took a cable car up the mountain. We put our love locks on (pics to follow - they are on a different camera) and went to the top of the tower. I knew Seoul was big, but man, looking out over the whole city really struck me.
We grabbed a quick bite to eat at the bottom of the tower (first meal in Korea was American food - but it was quick and easy so we went with it). We had a delicious burger with chipotle peppers :)
After the North Seoul tower, we came back to our hotel for a short nap - or so we thought. Four hours later, we woke up stunned that we slept until 7pm. We packed up and headed to the cat cafe.
The kids had a blast playing with the cats for over 2 hours. They were closing up at 10, so we essentially played until we were kicked out.
Elie was thrilled to be around so many cats, and Levi had fun pretending to be a cat.
Next we explored the street vendors and tried a few different treats (hatteok, chicken/something green on a stick, fruit), and we found a noodle shop that the kids thought was amazing. Finally we headed back to our hotel, and fortunately we made it out of the subway gate closest to our hotel right before they closed it (11:30). After heading to bed, Levi thought it was time to play at 3:30, so we were able to enjoy the sunrise on this beautiful Monday morning.
We are going to our agency to meet Richard in just 4 hours. We are way too excited to sleep. We will have one more meeting with him on Wednesday, and we will go to court on Thursday. Please be on prayer for our meetings, court hearing, and jet lag recovery.
4/11/2015
Happy Birthday and Adoption Update
Although we were not able to be with Richard for his 3rd birthday (yesterday), we had a wonderful time with friends celebrating his special day. We sincerely hope his 4th birthday will be with us, and we cannot wait to throw a big party for him then.
Korean BBQ was delish.
The kids (and adults alike) loved watching the lantern going off, sending birthday blessings off to Korea.
And the evening was finished off with fireworks! We hope he enjoyed his birthday in Korea, and we cannot wait to make it such a special day next year.
We are excited to announce that 889 days since we received his referral, we have FINALLY been submitted for an emigration permit (EP). We are so excited for this to step to be out of the way. So, what does this mean? Our paperwork is now in with the Ministry of Health and Welfare in Korea where they will approve our EP. This can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. We are prayerful that things will move quickly from this point, and we would love for you to lift this process up in prayer as well. Since the beginning of the year, I have been praying that we would receive his EP submission before his 3rd birthday, and the Lord allowed it to happen the day before his birthday. Throughout this process, God has provided many opportunities to see His glory reflected in small ways, and I was so thankful that He allowed this prayer to be answered (EP submission April 9 and his birthday is April 10). I would love to think we could travel sometime this summer, but it may realistically be closer to fall, but I am so very thankful to finally have progress to report.
Here is our adoption timeline:
- Initial Application for Adoption - 12/1/2011
- Home Study Sent to Korea - 7/15/2012
- Referral - 11/2/2012
- Dossier to Korea - 12/1/2012, updated 1/20/2014, and updated again with a new agency/house/state of residency 12/12/2014
- EP Submission - 4/9/2015
- EP Approval
- Submitted to Court
- Court Date Issued
- Trip #1 - Appear in Court and Meet Richard
- Trip #2 - Visa Appointment and Custody
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